Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Twinge

A short vacation from our vacation – I’ll post one more about Greece and then leave the islands to daydreams and photo albums, but right now, a jump to present time.


We are in Greenville, SC. After a much too short two years in France my husband was offered an excellent opportunity here, and so it came about that we’ve returned to the United States. If it seems sudden, it is because it was. We fully expected to spend three to five years in Clermont-Ferrand; it seems like only yesterday we finally found an apartment, made friends, started calling France home.

The last thing unpacked in our CF apartment - the big orange couch

These past weeks have been full of unexpected twinges for me. I am calling these momentary rushes of feeling twinges because I’m not willing to call them regrets or misgiving, and I’m unsure what else to call them. Most of them seem brought on by our departure from France. Lauris asks for Ba-Ba (his name for Beatrice), Maël or Stephan daily, and begs to go to the choo-choo park (the childrens’ playground in Jardin Lecoq). <Twinge> We have met some new friends, but admittedly these things take time. And in the meantime, that ache returns when I realize that fluent French for the boys will be much harder to achieve, that instead of speaking three languages Lauris is really only speaking one (Latvian). Or that all my best friends in Clermont are currently taking their three week August vacations.

Saying our goodbyes to Beatrice and Emma

The Olympics have brought with them some twinge-worthy moments also. A few days ago the UK had their most “golden” day in over a century… and all I wanted was to take my friend Emma out to lunch to celebrate. As I write this I hope she is not too homesick for missing all these big events and instead relaxing and enjoying the sun, beach and babysitting on her vacation in the Cote d’Azur. <Twinge> And although that is linked to our departure from France, some of the Olympic twinges are far more deep-seated, brought on by things like playing basketball for the Lions back in Chicago. Only a high school career, yes, but watching the women represent their countries I wonder where my 6 feet 3 inches would have gotten me with more work (not deluding myself, more work than I could have managed while maintaining any acceptable academic level). To stay in shape for basketball I swam off-season, and my backstroke was enough to win the city-wide 200m in Chicago my senior year, so a new flood of feelings along with the swimming highlights each evening. Which leads me to realize that at least I’ve done some swimming in the past ten years, I haven’t touched a basketball court in ages. <Twinge>

The boys' room, all packed up

The hot weather isn’t helping either. There was a time when although not completely immune (once a Yankee, always a Yankee) I was acclimated and didn’t have to hide inside from the heat. Droughts and high temperatures meant only increased danger of wildfire, and I was too busy putting in firelines and traveling the US on firefighting assignments to complain. The pang comes when the evening news comes on and I hear of more homes lost, of more acres burned. A month ago there was a wildfire at the Latvian Center Gaŗezers, possibly caused by 4th of July fireworks, and luckily caught in time so no structures were burned, however I felt myself longing for those days of working summers in Michigan with a <twinge> that I could have been there for the one and only fire season in the history of Gaŗezers. That I could don my fire boots and do something, instead of just watch the nightly news.




These recollections are nothing new, I believe they are a normal part of the transition period. And it just happens I have a lot of transitions going on right now; from France to US, from expatriate femme au foyer to SAHM. From carefree and responsible only for myself, to mother of two. From firefighter and forestry technician to parks & recreation (and by that I mean going to parks & recreating there…). I could go on, but I’ve said it all before, and I’m sure the twinges aren’t done yet. So instead, I’m wondering what pangs my current life will bring in the future. Twinges at how quickly the boys have grown? Will there be a day when I will yearn for my days of blogging? Maybe a niggle when I see South Carolina mentioned on the news? A yearning to change more diapers?

Can't forget the cats!

The <twinge> has helped me to resolve one issue; I’ve decided to keep Femme au Foyer. It will no longer be a diary of our time in France, but it will continue to be a journal of our travels and adventures. The last two weeks spent in Greenville have reopened my eyes as to how beautiful a city it is, and I want to share. There might possibly be some mommy blogging, and most definitely some more posts in and on Latvia/being Latvian. I foresee often touching on our time in France as this expatriation has had a profound effect on my life, just as I predict the posts might be fewer and farther between. But whatever Femme au Foyer evolves into, I hope you elect to follow along for the next chapter.




15 comments:

  1. Hey! Be sure we're having a marvellous time on the Cote d'Azur and keeping up with the Olympics via the i Pad. We're very proud and celebrating copiously! I'm so happy to hear, despite the twinges, that you are all settling in. And I'm thrilled you're continuing with Femme au Foyer. I can't wait to hear all about your new adventures, and of course see those beautiful 2 boys grow.

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    1. Oh Emma, we miss you! Please keep your own pictures coming, Lauris and I just sat down to your Cote d'Azure album... Beautiful! You're looking absolutely radiant, and Bea!

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  2. So great that you are continuing, it will be wonderful to read about how you settle into your life in the US and any Latvian travels, as well as memories of your time in France! It sounds as though you are managing the transition well, and it would be a shame if you didn't feel a few twinges leaving somewhere you've spent so much precious family time.

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  3. Oh, honey. You know I'll still be reading along, to keep up with your growing boys. I think those twinges are just growing pains as you continue to grow. I had one myself Sat night as I lay in the bed with my granddaughter. It was her first sleepover at my house. (I was so excited. hehehe) As I looked at her, all I could think of was the days when her mommy would climb into bed with me, too.

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    1. Grammy, I think we're still at the stage of wishing they were out of our bed so that we could get some/any sleep! But enjoy every precious moment with your granddaughter, and thanks for the kind words.

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  4. Tu izsaki tik labi kā es arī kādreiz jūtos...dejotāja, māksliniece, trakumniece :)
    Man kāds reiz teica, ka nav ko nožēlot to kas nebija - dzīvē esi augusi un mainījusies kā vajag. Tu vairs neesi tas pats cilvēks, kāds tu biji tad - kāpēc tev būtu tāda pati dzīve? Intereses mainās, uzskats mainās - iespējams, ka iedziļinoties vecās interesēs un uzskatos, tu atrastu, ka tev tas pat nepietrūkst tā kā esi iedomājusies...viss ir romantiski skatoties atpakaļ. Es nezinu vai viņiem ir taisnība, bet man tas vienmēr bija kā mierinājums...

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    1. Annin, tev tacu ar nak klat visadi jauni apzimejumi... skolotaja, sieva, krustmate! Paldies par gudro padomu, un gaidam tik loti jus redzet Cikaga!

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  5. I am glad to hear that you will be keeping your blog, Liene. It also occurs to me that all of those twinges come from remembering really cool, interesting, and meaningful experiences in your life. Yes, your life keeps changing, but it seems like you have been living well and fully. Good for you! And here's to more twinge-worthy experiences!

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    1. That's a good way of looking at it, thanks! Will just have to start separating these tinges from the Lauri-climb-down-from-there sort...

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  6. It did all happen so fast! I can't believe that you are settled into your new home already!
    I'm happy you decided to keep the blog, it will be nice to see how you and the boys adjust to being Americans again :)

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    1. Having just moved yourself you know the settling in takes some time. Once we find a place and our belongings arrive from France, then all the settling will only start! Right now I'm working on getting the Starbucks, bagels and Reeses dark chocolate peanut butter cups out of my system...

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  7. I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye before you left. I get those twinges when I think about leaving France. I don't know if I'm ready yet.

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    1. Barbara, trust me when I say the goodbyes are overrated. It was good closure, but I mostly just wished we could quietly sneak off without all the tears - saying goodbye was hard. I wish you the chance to do all you want to experience while in France, and keep those boys speaking French!!

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  8. Wow wow wow! I missed this one - I'm glad I found it. I am so sorry you have to leave, as it sounds you wanted to stay and I think the suddenness can be so shocking. And that your friends are away on holiday so that you miss final goodbyes - yuck! I wonder what our circumstances will be when we leave - where will we go, and how much time to mentally AND physically prepare?

    It looks like you've found a place to live already - that's huge progress. Hopefully your container will arrive soon. I'd sneak a batch of French lavender from Provence on it if I could :)

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